Wednesday, December 9, 2015

你的力量感来源于哪里?

http://mp.weixin.qq.com/s?__biz=MjM5NDg5MzY1MA==&mid=214331280&idx=1&sn=092e40e337536b537b8e74298c67eb44&scene=19#wechat_redirect

 

2015-07-24 彦祖 
我从老照片里面发现,生活在八九十年代甚至民国时代的年轻人,他们的眼神非常坚定。



而现在我看到的男人,甚少能从他们的眼神中感觉到属于男人那种钢铁般的目光聚焦点。

他们常常为自己的无能感而抱怨,抱怨父母不是富一代,抱怨自己身高太矮长相不佳,抱怨女人拜金,抱怨社会不公,抱怨工作太忙。

他们没有目标、动力和野心,总是在各种思想洪流中随波逐流。

为什么会这样?

答案是我们很多人都缺乏力量感。

这种力量感让我们知道我是谁,它塑造我们的态度,有自己的主见,指导我们的行为方式。简单地说:它是灵魂。我们看到古往今来凡是伟大的男人,都不会是没有主见,随波逐流,他们肯定有自己的目标和想法。

所以型男工程的第一天,就是教你找到男人的力量感:建立核心价值观。


核心价值观的重要性
01

01
能明确目标

如果你不知道,或者你没有明确你的价值观,你最终会感慨自己喝过很多鸡汤,也过不好这一生;看过很多追女孩技巧,在生病的时候却没有女人来关心自己。你会在环境和社会的压力下能做出违心的选择,你过着别人给你指导的生活,而不是你自己的,时间一长,你感到空虚和无能。而相反,如果你有自己明确的价值观,它会让你把握住生活的整体方向和幸福。
说个我见过缺乏核心价值观的案例。有个男生叫小李,在追求一女生失败后,希望能够重新获得女生的青睐,于是去参加了某个为期三天的PUA培训。第一天,他问这个导师,该如何才能重新让女生喜欢他。所谓导师就说,你推倒30个女孩就知道答案了。然后三天的课堂就讲了怎么快速推倒女生。小李回来后下载了各种陌生社交软件,聊天三句不离性,彻底地变成了一个约炮机器人。以前想要追求的女生依然没理过他,当然,他也忘了当初要重新追求这个女孩的想法。
02
能避免做出错误的选择

例如:你和你女朋友在选择一起旅行,你特别想去一个地方,但女朋友不想去。

你会怎么做?(先思考,再看下去。)

  • 冷战,发脾气?=不成熟
  • 强逼她一起去?=欺负
  • 马上怀疑她是不是不爱你了?=嫉妒,没有安全感
  • 用某个条件来交换或者要挟对方?=控制者
  • 不理她,自己去?=以自我为中心
  • 尊重她的决定,她说啥是啥?=恭敬,没主见
  • 坦白谈论它,让对方了解自己的想法?=成熟

你看到这样一个简单问题就能让你可能做出不同选择? 而每个选择都由你个人的核心价值观所决定的。当你和身边的人发生冲突,如果你的行动和价值观不一致,结果会很悲剧。定义价值观会给我们信心,我记得当我深思熟虑并写下来自己要成为一个什么样的男人,我有了更多的勇气和信心作出选择,包括放弃了做情感培训,而投身于帮助更多男人的事情

这些都是基于价值观的选择,它不会让你后悔。

03
能让生活变得简单

当你确定了核心价值观,你会发现决策变得很简单。当面对一个选择的时候,你只需要问自己,这个选择是否和我的价值观保持一致。

如果是,就去做。你不需要等到像李开复先生来告诉你,如果你做的事情全世界的人都做就会让世界变得更美好的话,你才去做。

Follow you heart。你不用纠结和女生吃饭该不该请客的问题,如果你的价值观是平等优于绅士的话,你大可以不请。当然女生下次也有不想和你出来的选择。


怎样找到你的核心价值观
拥有明确的核心价值观是一个成熟男人的标志,它是如此重要,《型男工程》后面会经常会用到它。而百天型男工程的第一天,我会教你如何找到自己的核心价值观。

在开始之前,你需要清楚核心价值观并非目标。目标是具体的行动,比如“在100天之内找到女朋友”或者“有生之年穿到一见定制的衣服”。

1,找到放松安静的状态。你可以在安静的房间,坐在一个舒服的沙发上。要是静不下来,可以到家附近去散步,去做有助于你放松的事情。

2,找到合适的写作工具。有纸和笔是最好的,我不建议用手机和电脑来完成这个事情。因为它很容易被一些推送消息所分心。

3,问自己一个问题:“对你来说,什么才是真正重要的?”一旦你放轻松,就简单地问自己什么才是对你最重要的?想想那些在你生命当中让你感到很舒服的人,最让你开心的时刻。如果想不出来,不用担心,放松,再保持思考。

4,写下来。当你想到什么重要的东西,把它写下来。这个过程要诚实, 不要欺骗自己,因为没有人会看得到你的过程,另外不要列出一些你觉得“应该”要有的品质。

5,如果有超过五个以上的价值观,要学会取舍。认真思考它们在你生活中真正的价值,你很确定能在前五的的先打勾,不确定的把他们配成对,然后看这两个并排的值,问自己哪个重要?对比删除不大重要的,继续和其他对比,直到最后剩下5个。

6,主次分明。你现在的名单上有五个最重要的价值观,那么你要开始考虑什么是最最最最重要的。理想的状态下,它们应该是互相帮助的,但也有两个因素发生冲突的情况。当这种情况发生时,你能通过你的排列知道如何处理。即使会发生冲突,有时候你可以找到兼顾到双方的办法。例如像遇到你老婆问你,妈妈和她一起掉水里,你会先救谁?这种妻子和父母之间的冲突,你可能是父母排在妻子之上,所以你可以给你妻子的答案是先救妈妈,再去救老婆你,如果救不上,我也不上岸了。它会帮助你想出两全其美的办法。

正如我们在励志电影里面常常看到主角的“洁癖”症,主角一定拼死捍卫,不得玷污的核心价值观。

如果你自己想这些元素比较困难,我会提供一些你可能会考虑到的元素,你可以借鉴发挥思考你认为重要的核心价值观,它可能是一种精神上的品质,也可能是一种物质上的符号,没关系,都可以写下来。
冒险、公平、信心、、信念、家庭、财产、健康、权力、真理、知识、利他主义、娱乐、公益、勇气、时尚、经济独立、厚脸皮、服从、提供价值、严谨、谨慎、感恩、助人、平等、绅士、梦想
Day 1 任务
1. 按照以上方法,找到你觉得最重要的五个核心价值观。

2. 完成后回答一个问题:假如你和朋友遇到路上有卖花小女孩抱着你大腿要你买一朵花,你会怎么做?

3. 核心价值观可以每隔三个月回头想想,根据每个阶段作修改补充。


你有24小时来完成这个任务,如果你完成了,可以通过后台或者微信分享给我(一见私人微信号:yijian55555)。

游戏奖励:这是你型男旅程的第一天,你在下面评论区签到,每坚持签到十天,凭截图送出我们10~50元定制衬衫抵用券,可累加使用,签满100天应该能免费换购到一件超级有型的定制衬衫,不输给阿玛尼价格3000+的衬衫质量喔。


型男工程丨第一天
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长按并扫描以下二维码来关注一见吧,10万型男就差你了!
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Friday, December 4, 2015

SAMPLE RECOMMENDATION LETTERS

http://www-verimag.imag.fr/~plafourc/DIVERS/sample_letter.pdf

SAMPLE RECOMMENDATION LETTERS

Prepared by Richard E. Hughes, Ph.D. Many students come to me to do research, and many of them ask me later for letters of recommendation. I see this as a very important part of my job. I want to write the most outstanding letter for you - a letter that will open doors for you. I have written these kinds of letters for undergraduates, graduate students, and medical students. A lot of students do not have a concrete idea of what kinds of things are said in letters of recommendation. Therefore, I am providing you with an example of three kinds of letters for a hypothetical student (Mr. Smith): (1) a mediocre letter; (2) a good letter, and (3) an outstanding letter. I want to write an outstanding letter for you. The key is for you to get an outstanding letter is to exhibit outstanding qualities during your time in my research group so I can write about them. Please read these three example letters and reflect on what sort of effort it will take to demonstrate the qualities so that I can write an outstanding letter for you. If you are excited about putting sufficient energy and creativity into a project for me to write an outstanding letter for you, then please join our team. If you only want to put in the effort to achieve a mediocre or good letter, you may want to explore an opportunity in some other research lab. Mediocre letter In truth, mediocre letters are actually bad letters. Since nobody every writes an outright bad letter, everyone experienced in reading letters of recommendation know that a mediocre letter is the worst thing that could be said about an applicant. Dear Selection Committee, I am writing to recommend Mr. Smith for your program. I know Mr. Smith because he worked in my lab for one summer. Mr. Smith was given a project to work on. He was in the lab the amount of time required by the program that was funding him. He was diligent in his work, and he completed all assignments. I met with him regularly to detail the work that needed to be completed. Mr. Smith is a personable young person, and it was a pleasure to have him in the lab. In summary, I recommend Mr. Smith for your program. Sincerely, Richard Hughes, Ph.D. Assistant Professor Good letter The following is a good letter, and it may actually help Mr. Smith. Dear Selection Committee, I am writing this letter to strongly recommend Mr. Smith for your program. I know Mr. Smith because he worked in my lab for one summer. Mr. Smith came to me a year ago to discuss the possibility of spending a summer working in my lab. I met with him and outlined a project. I gave him some background reading at our first meeting. By the time of our second meeting he had read what I had given him and prepared a two-page project description. This level of effort is typical of a good medical student who joins my lab, so I agreed to take him on for a summer. During his time in my lab, Mr. Smith demonstrated a good work ethic and interpersonal skills. We outlined a scope of work to be completed, and he successfully completed that work in the time required. He put in extra hours as necessary in order to meet specific deadlines that I set. I teamed him up with another student to work on the project. He seemed to work well with the other student, and I found him very personable. Mr. Smith put in sufficient work to be a co-author on a manuscript. Overall, I would strongly recommend Mr. Smith for a position in your program. Sincerely, Richard Hughes, Ph.D. Assistant Professor Outstanding letter This is the letter you want to have written about you. I have written these letters for a few people, and I want to write one for you if you give me the raw material to work with. The reason this is an outstanding letter is that it provides detailed descriptions of many qualities that admissions committees and employers seek: hard work, independence, creativity, problem solving ability, and the ability to get along with people. Mr. Smith is seeking a residency in orthopaedic surgery, so it is also useful to have an evaluation of Mr. Smith’s dissection skills mentioned in the letter. Another noteworthy aspect of this letter is that it is detailed and provides specific anecdotes of outstanding performance. People who read letters of recommendation often look for this because it demonstrates that the person writing the letter actually knows the details of the applicant’s work experience. At the end of your time in my lab, I will ask everyone (staff and other students) who has worked with you to provide anecdotes of outstanding performance that I can include in your letter. Dear Selection Committee, I am writing this letter to give my highest possible recommendation for Mr. Smith. I know Mr. Smith through his work in my laboratory. Mr. Smith first approached me two years ago about the possibility of work in my laboratory for a summer. At our first meeting I described the general outline of the project the he might work on. He asked good questions and appeared intelligent. He then went to the library and found many papers on the subject and read them carefully. He did this independently - I did not ask him to do this. I learned that he had done this at our second meeting, and I was quite impressed at his motivation and independence. Mr. Smith obtained funding from a program at our University to work in the lab for a summer. During that summer, Mr. Smith demonstrated the ability to work independently with great creativity and enthusiasm. He also put in many long hours. He worked as hard as my best graduate student. I teamed Mr. Smith with another student to work on a project involving testing of patients having shoulder pathology. The project included recruiting patients, testing patients using biomechanical instrumentation, and data analysis. Mr. Smith excelled in each one of these areas. His interpersonal skills were excellent. He “schmoozed” the clinical staff to facilitate recruitment of patients. He tested the patients professionally. Sometimes this testing required long days due to the extensive setup and calibration of equipment each morning before the clinic began operation. He stayed after the testing sessions to back up data, clean up the area, and start data processing programs to run overnight. He was usually the first one in the lab in the morning and the last to leave in the evening. The other student working with Mr. Smith commented favorably about working with Mr. Smith. He said the Mr. Smith got along well with everyone, pulled his own weight on the project, and had the ability to compromise with other team members. One incident illustrates this point. There is a staff member in an adjoining lab that is a rather prickly person who has had many problems with students in the past. Mr. Smith had to interact with this staff person in order to get his project done. Mr. Smith was able to find a common interest with this staff person, which was folk dancing, and build a rapport based on this mutual interest. At the end of the summer the staff person noted what a pleasure it was to work with Mr. Smith. Mr. Smith also volunteered to help others in the lab. One of the other students was doing a project on knee biomechanics, and it required harvesting knees from the University’s morgue. Mr. Smith volunteered to help harvest the knees on several occasions. I asked the graduate student in charge of that project about Mr. Smith, and he commented that Mr. Smith has excellent dissection skills. I was especially taken by Mr. Smith’s creative mind and independent work ethic. He continued to read the literature independently and generate interesting hypotheses. We met about every other week, and at several meetings he presented papers and information that was new to me. By the end of the summer he was introducing me to scientific papers that were directly relevant to his study that I hadn’t seen before. Mr. Smith also showed remarkable problem solving ability. Our instrumentation system began having problems midway through his experiment. Mr. Smith spent a full weekend troubleshooting the system. He discovered there was a loose wire in the A/D connection box. Mr. Smith is going to be first author on a manuscript that he is preparing for publication. He followed through on his promise to write the manuscript during his M2 year. Moreover, he handled the manuscript revisions and saw the manuscript through to publication. This illustrates his high level of motivation. In summary, Mr. Smith is clearly the best student I have worked with in the last 10 years. I would very much like him match to our residency program. Even though I hope he stays here, I think he would be an outstanding asset to your program. I give him my highest recommendation. Sincerely, Richard Hughes, Ph.D. Assistant Professor

Wednesday, December 2, 2015

语法教室

  1. http://www.shanbay.com/footprints/article/2827/
  2. http://www.shanbay.com/footprints/article/2836/
  3. http://www.shanbay.com/footprints/article/2851/
  4. http://www.shanbay.com/footprints/article/2869/
  5. http://www.shanbay.com/footprints/article/2884/
  6. http://www.shanbay.com/footprints/article/2893/
  7. http://www.shanbay.com/footprints/article/2908/
  8. http://www.shanbay.com/footprints/article/2917/
  9. http://www.shanbay.com/footprints/article/2932/
  10. http://www.shanbay.com/footprints/article/2938/
  11. http://www.shanbay.com/footprints/article/2956/
  12. http://www.shanbay.com/footprints/article/2968/
  13. http://www.shanbay.com/footprints/article/2980/
  14. http://www.shanbay.com/footprints/article/2992/
  15. http://www.shanbay.com/footprints/article/2992/
  16. http://www.shanbay.com/footprints/article/3019/
  17. http://www.shanbay.com/footprints/article/3028/
  18. http://www.shanbay.com/footprints/article/3037/
  19. http://www.shanbay.com/footprints/article/3052/
  20. http://www.shanbay.com/footprints/article/3058/
  21. http://www.shanbay.com/footprints/article/3088/
  22. http://www.shanbay.com/footprints/article/3100/
  23. http://www.shanbay.com/footprints/article/3157/
  24. http://www.shanbay.com/footprints/article/3163/
  25. http://www.shanbay.com/footprints/article/3283/
  26. http://www.shanbay.com/footprints/article/3292/
  27. http://www.shanbay.com/footprints/article/3307/
  28. http://www.shanbay.com/footprints/article/3316/
  29. http://www.shanbay.com/footprints/article/3331/
  30. http://www.shanbay.com/footprints/article/3352/
  31. http://www.shanbay.com/footprints/article/3355/
  32. http://www.shanbay.com/footprints/article/3376/
 
 

语法教室(第1期):双重属格——谁是谁的谁?

http://www.shanbay.com/footprints/article/2827/

单词若是英语学习的砖石,语法便是将这些零碎的知识粘合成句的泥浆,想必很多人都买过厚可拍墙的语法书,左啃右啃不得而终,况且语法知识细碎难解,换我高中老师常用的话来说就是“你看看哪个读起来顺溜就行了”……因此语法之精要不在背诵,在于理解,尤其在于到处拼拼凑凑,于细碎之中补充自己啃过多遍的系统语法知识,然后在平常的写作和练习中下意识地多问问自己,我这么写符合语法规定吗?慢慢从“死抠”语法的窘境中豁然开朗,做到“出口成章”。
在这档节目中,笔者给大家带来了一些容易混淆的语法小常识。这些你都了解吗?赶快来看看吧~

本期主题:双重属格——谁是谁的谁?

先来一组辨析:
a photo of Jackson's 
a photo of Jackson 
Jackson's photo
这三个表达有什么区别呢?
解决这道题目的关键点在于这么一条语法规律:
当名词中心词为“portrait,picture,printing,photograph,bust”等时,用双重属格来修饰有关人物所收藏的东西,即拥有之物,也可说身外之物;用of属格则指某人自己的东西,本身之物;在没有上下文的情况下,用-’s属格,则能指以上两种意义的任何一种
这么一来,这道问题就相当简单了,“a photo of Jackson's”是双重属格,有“of(表的)”也有“-’s(表的)”,所以指代拥有之物,即“Jackson所收藏的一张照片”;“a photo of Jackson”是of属格,表示本身之物,即“一张Jackson自己的照片”;最后,“Jackson's photo”则可能为两种意思中的任一种,要结合上下文来进行判断。
再来举一个类似的例子:a condemnation of John's 和 a condemnation of John。
前者为双重属格,表示外物,因此condemnation针对的是外人,所以John是发起者,翻译成“John(对别人)的谴责”,后者是of属格,表本身,所以condemnation针对的是John,因此发起者通常理解为别人,翻译成“(别人对)John的一番谴责”。
你搞清楚了吗?

以上内容主要参考《大学英语语法与词汇》(袁晓宁、刘成)。
 

语法教室(第2期):“A and B ...”,谓语动词必以复数形式呈现?

 
通常情况下,大家都会以为“A and B”这样的句型里,谓语动词以复数形式呈现,例子也是信手拈来:
Her behaviour and her principles do not accord well together.
她的行为与她的原则不很一致。
但事实并非如此。
需要注意的是,本文已经排除了大部分有规律可循的“特殊情况”,即:一些可以影响谓语动词单复数的固定词组,如:or,either ... or,as well as,in addition to等,前两个做连接词时,谓语动词与靠近它的主语部分相一致,而后两个则正好相反,与远离它的主语部分相一致,各举一例如下:
Neither you nor he is going to take the exam.
The father, as well as his sons, is going to sign up for the contest.
这样的词组还有很多,需要大家在平时的学习中积累,在此不做赘述。接下来我们主要来看一下几种“A and B”句型中谓语动词为单数的特殊情况。

1. 如果作主语的并列结构中的名词指同一个人、同一个事物或同一个概念,谓语动词用单数。
如何辨别这两个并列结构是否表达同一个概念呢?关键在于限定词。通常两个名词并列共用同一个限定词时,这两个名词是指同一个事物或概念;如果两个名词分别用限定词来修饰,则指不同的事物或概念。
例如:
The manager and secretary was present at the meeting. 经理秘书出席了会议。
The manager and the secretary were present at the meeting.  经理秘书出席了会议。
现在,如果让你们翻译“习近平,现任中国共产党中央委员会总书记,中共中央军事委员会主席,中华人民共和国主席,中华人民共和国中央军事委员会主席”,你们还敢乱用the吗?

2. 当and连接两个单数名词作主语,且两个名词前分别有each,every,no,many a等限定词修饰,谓语动词用单数。
例如:
Every boy and every girl in this class studies very hard.
这个班上的每个男生和女生学习都很用功。

3. 表示加减乘除时,谓语动词用单数。
例如:
Two added to three equals (makes, gives, is) five.
二加三得五。

最后是今天的问题(答案见下期):
请翻译:Bread and butter is his usual breakfast.

以上就是今天的所有内容啦~
大家还有什么新的想法都可以说出来分享一下哦~

往期语法教室请看:


语法教室(第3期):反身代词,指的到底是谁?

 
上一期的《语法教室》中,我们讲到了“A and B”句型中谓语动词的单复数问题,文末给大家留了一道翻译题,答案如下:
原文:Bread and butter is his usual breakfast. 
参考翻译:他的日常早餐是面包夹黄油。
你翻对了吗?

今天我们要了解的是反身代词,首先来看一道选择题吧~
Various animals have shells that keep themselves from growing beyond a certain size.
A. various 
B. themselves 
C. beyond 
D. certain
以上四个选项,哪一个错了呢?


机智的小伙伴会说不用看题目了答案肯定就是B,只有B涉及到了反身代词 =。=
恭喜你答对了=。=
不过原因何在呢?
我们来分析一下这句话,理解的关键在于that从句是用来修饰shells的,而不是animals。按照题中句子的逻辑来看,themselves指代that, 而 that的先行词为shells,句子就变成了:animals have shells that keep shells from growing beyond a certain size(动物的壳是为了防止壳长得太大)?这显然是不对的。因此themselves只能改为them。

知识点1:
反身代词在句中作宾语时,表示动作的对象是动作的执行者本身,换句话说,反身代词在句子中作宾语时,须指代它所在句子的主语,否则就不能用反身代词。

于是乎我们来看今天的第二个题目:
She placed her papers in front of her.
这句话有错误吗?
按照我们刚刚的说法,这里的her确实是指代动作执行者本身的,所以这句话错了,her应当改为herself。是吗?
实则不然。
知识点2:
如果人称代词前面出现了表示空间位置关系的介词或者介词短语时,它的宾语一般不用改成反身代词。大家常见的句子,比如“She closed the door behind her.”,就是个典型的例子。

现在大家明白了吗?
最后,来翻译一组句子吧(答案见下期):
A. He is looking at himself in the mirror. 
B. He is looking at him in the mirror.

往期语法教室请看:

上一期的《语法教室》中,我们讲到了反身代词的指代问题,文末翻译题的参考答案如下:
A.He is looking at himself in the mirror.  
他看着镜子里的自己。  
B. He is looking at him in the mirror.  
他透过镜子窥探他人。  
你翻对了吗?

语法教室(第4期):谁最聪明——比较词后有无“One”?

今天给大家介绍一个相对简单但是非常容易弄错的语法点,也就是比较词后带不带“One”
首先给大家看一个例句,你们来判断一下这句话的对错:
Of all the students in my class, he is the cleverest one.

这句话读起来好顺口有没有!所以说语感这种东西嘛…… =。= 这句话其实是错的,末尾的one不该存在,应该删除。

知识点:
在“(the)+ 形容词最高级(或副词最高级)+ 比较范围”这种结构中,表示范围的词(of,among,between……)后面不用再加“one”。
而在上文中,例句里有了一个比较范围,“Of all the students in my class”,所以我们一般不在最高级后加名词或代词。如果我们把句子的顺序调整一下,也许能更好地理解这其中的逻辑:He is the cleverest one of all the students in my class。这样看来,这句话是不是很奇怪?“He is the cleverest one”和“one of all the students in my class”单独都能存在,但是放在一起省略掉一个one,就属于杂糅了。

下面注意比较和把握以下两个例句结构的不同导致最高级后名词或代词的有无
John is the brightest among these workers.  
John is the brightest man I have ever met.

大家都明白了吗?最后来做一道选择题吧:
He is the brightest ___ of the three boys.  
A. /  
B. boy  
C. one  

以上内容主要参考《大学英语语法与词汇》(袁晓宁、刘成)。